The first few weeks may be the hardest. Here's why.
Read Time | 6 min
My sister recently gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL baby girl, and I have been blessed with the opportunity to watch her settle in and grow into her role as a new mother.
Having a first-hand, real-time view of her journey has helped me in deepening my understanding as to why the first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest. It also helps me to make sense of the data we've seen over the years: by three months post-delivery, 43.6% of parents who started out exclusively breastfeeding will no longer be doing so.
While I am happy to have a deeper understanding of the challenges new families face, especially those in the first few days after having their baby, it's a bit hard to admit that it's taken me so long to finally "see it". ( A blog for another day!)
I know that I am not the first to make the declaration that the first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest. However, similar to trying to describe how intense labor can be, or what it's like to be in love, finding a way to accurately and adequately convey the breastfeeding experience, especially during challenging periods, is near impossible and will ultimately fall short.
If you're reading this post and you've recently had your baby and are feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, defeated, or heartbroken the one thing I hope you hear is that it won't always feel this way. And there's a whole community of people who WANT to support you on your journey and are just waiting to be invited into your space. Please don't hesitate to reach out.
So why is the breastfeeding journey in the early weeks so challenging? Here's what I've seen...
1) Providers often reinforce the doubts that breastfeeding won't work.
The idea that breastfeeding won't be successful is widespread, and unfortunately, OBGYNs, Midwives, and Family practitioners may not be exempt from the deep-rooted doubts regarding breastfeeding.
Both prenatally and even immediately post-delivery, providers may subtly reinforce that breastfeeding won't be successful. Some providers may provide the faux-supportive but undermining "fed is best" with great intentions, while others will feel the need to warn those who convey their breastfeeding goals, "just in case."
I was appalled to hear my sister's care provider, while my niece was still attached to her mama, reassure her that "while breastfeeding is good when it works, formula is okay too."
Assuming that was all that her provider said (which it wasn't), that short statement sends the message that we should trust lactation and breastfeeding so little, that not even 3 minutes after birth, we have to warn parents of their impending failure.
Almost equally as important, it's a discouraging and unsupportive statement to someone who has clearly stated the desire to breastfeed.
2) In- Hospital breastfeeding support may not be sufficient
The breastfeeding hospital experience is unique, and the roles, responsibilities, and goals of hospital lactation professionals differ significantly from lactation professionals working in outpatient and private practice.
In an ideal scenario, each parent and baby would get thorough lactation support during their time in hospital. Unfortunately, between time constraints and volume of patients to tend to, often support doesn't extend past basic latching help.
For babies with oral restrictions and for parents who have risk factors that require tailored lactation support or for those who didn't get adequate prenatal breastfeeding education, the quality of lactation support in the limited time available may not be adequate.
Additionally, those working inpatient may not have the skill or experience to identify complex feeding challenges, or they may be limited by the policies of the hospitals in which they work.
This fact leads me to the next reason why the first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest...
3) Figuring out that there are breastfeeding challenges may take a few days
In the days following delivery, it may be hard to distinguish between those who need closer monitoring and those who need the tincture of time. Unfortunately, most parents find that they're left to sort that out on their own.
By the time obvious "red flags" of breastfeeding challenges present, the interventions needed to remedy the situation are often time-consuming and energy-intensive.
In my sister's case, despite getting IBCLC-support four days after delivery (which is EXTREMELY quick), the challenges that presented prior to day 4 proved discouraging.
Furthermore, just knowing the cause of the issues isn't enough; Often, the time between identifying the problem, treatment, and seeing improvements can take days to weeks. That is a long time when breastfeeding is painful or when managing lactation is so time-intensive it affects parenting and bonding.
4) By the time there's a plan, all motivation may be gone.
Human milk feeding is like a marathon. It takes a combination of physical stamina and mental will to reach your breastfeeding goals, and momentum is an essential factor to success.
When breastfeeding challenges present early on, many parents have to work very hard just to manage. By the time the "investigation phase" is over, and a care plan developed, they may not feel they have the energy, motivation, or desire to continue.
For those who continue to push toward their goals despite the struggles, each day may be taxing, each feed may be daunting, and each pump may be discouraging.
Ultimately, the things that make the first few weeks of breastfeeding difficult will vary among families. The four above listed factors are just what I've personally seen that may contribute to the already challenging days of getting acquainted with your newborn and your role as a new parent.
If you've recently brought home a newborn or if you can remember what was challenging about the first few weeks, please share it in the comments below.